so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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