I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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