I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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