I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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