I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
