I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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