And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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