Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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