i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
