No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
do nipples grow back?
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