I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
