I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
