I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
