FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
