I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We smell like vodka and hangover
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