Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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