I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
