it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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