I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
