I will die if light touches me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
