saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
