Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
