Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
