How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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