I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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