I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
