Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
