How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
