Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
