what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
