How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
