you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
