Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
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