the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I need a beard to bite.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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