don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
