I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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