i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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