why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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