The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
