In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
