dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
