Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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