I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
