dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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