she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
