I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
