You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
