I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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