I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
