we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
