Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would ride that face into the sunset
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