Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
