worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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