The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
