dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
