a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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