The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Actions speak louder than pants.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
