respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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